Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Not Loosing Any Weight...

... but I feel pretty good anyway.
We finally got our home gym thingie put up and working. It's awesome! I have no pics yet, but... I will, I promise. Soon.

Okay, I was feeling pretty good. Now I'm depressed. Crushed. Okay, I'm crying a little bit. Life sucks. We got the house we wanted but when I called my son, who is in FL right now with his other family and who is supposed to come home on Sunday, he asked me if he could stay a couple of weeks longer. And Pete didn't want me to tell him that we got the house. He wanted him to just come home and be surprised. Why the hell does he always want to make surprises when he KNOWS damned well that they never turn out the way he expects or wants them to then he gets all offended and it just makes things harder on me. I feel so angry and sad and mad and terrible. Why is it that ever since we got married the days that should be the happiest always turn out to be horrible? I feel like I was robbed. By Thomas and by Pete. I should still be feeling happy and excited and all that good stuff. Instead, I'm sitting here crying and my nose is all stuffed and my eyes are blurry and red and I feel awful. I hate men! All of them! Not really. But I am mad as hell at both of them for taking this happy moment and turning it into a horrible one. It sucks.

And I'm also still fat. Only now... I'm fat and I have a ugly crybaby blubber face, too. I know we are going to have words tomorrow when we talk about it. Pete and I, that is. I've already had words with Thomas and that really sucks too cause I miss him so bad I think I might die and I'm worried to hell that he's going to want to stay there with them (they have been really working on him this time) and then they will take all his money and he'll have nothing left to live on and his life will be terrible and Oh God! Shut me up! I feel so miserable right now. I'm going to go to bed. I don't really feel like updating my stats or doing anything like that. I feel like crying and screaming and stomping and yelling and thrashing around on the floor and generally having a big two year old toddler type mad fit. But that won't help, will it?


Anna said...

I don't have any words to make it all better for you, and since I can't give you an in-person hug, here's a virtual one. ((HUGS))

I know my family has made me rant and rave and cry and scream, and it feels good to let it all out. We're here for you!

Some Kinda Wonderful said...

Thanks Anna. Jeez, I was pathetic, wasn't I? I feel better now. :-)

chaki said...

Oh Holly, we all have those days don't we. Good to get it all out and get on with the good things. Huggles.